Medium: Terracotta with glaze
Dimensions: h: 8", w: 12.5", d: 9.5"

What I love most about working with clay is the process—it is filled with magic. I can have an idea for a piece—hopes and dreams and plans—but ultimately, how it turns out isn’t entirely up to me as the artist. 

My piece, Mommy Issues, was created in response to my Ceramics I “Emotional Baggage” project—which is exactly what it sounds like. Inspired by the recent realization that my lifelong co-dependent relationship with my mom was crumbling, I set out to create a ceramic diaper bag that resembled what she would have used for me in the late 1980s.

The less-than-ideal slab construction of the bag mirrors my childhood experience of mothering myself and my siblings—doing what I could with limited knowledge as to how to do it, and not making time to necessarily “do it right.” This resulted in broken seams on the pockets and only half of the strap surviving the kiln. Since I had invested a significant amount of time in the rest of the bag, I had to rush the glazing process. I wanted the look of the bag to symbolize my Gram—a woman who I only saw for two weeks out of the year, yet whose impact on my life was incredibly profound. For this I chose blue and purple hydrangea flowers—which bloomed beautifully at her house—to symbolize my gratitude as a mother figure in my life.

Having worked with my mom in therapy at the time I was creating this piece, I perceive it as something that demanded to be made—to be seen, touched, and acknowledged—in order for me to finally let go and heal.